by Candi Phillips

My lab/golden retriever mix, Mulder, is a constant source of amusement. His latest “trick” is mimicking a human smile. We are greeted after a day away with Mulder’s open-mouthed grin, often accompanied by bounding and dancing. If he could laugh, he’d enjoy these comments written by Jennifer Berman.

Why Dogs Are Better Than Kids

• It doesn’t take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in the winter.
• Dogs cannot lie.
• Dogs never resist naptime.
• You don’t need to get extra phone lines for a dog.
• Dogs don’t pester you about getting a kid.
• Dogs don’t care if the mashed potatoes have touched the peas.
• Dogs are housebroken by the time they’re 12 weeks old.
• Your dog is not embarrassed if you sing in public.
• If your dog is a bad seed, your genes cannot be blamed.

I don’t know the source for the following, but apparently it was compiled from various city dog license applications where the owners wrote the dogs’ breeds:

 
Cavalier Cocker Spaniard
King James Spaniel
Westminster Terrier
Rhode Island Ridgeback
Palmeranian
Copper Spaniel
Cocker Spaniard
Black Labrador (dog was yellow)
Dorky Terrier
Lopso Apso
El Paso (attempt at Lhasa Apso)
Highland Heeler
Alaskan Malibu
Belgian Manawa
Basket Hound Bagel
Wild Haired Terrier
Carrion Terrier
Rockwelders
Rottenwilder
Great Pekingese
Great Pyramid
Miniature Datsun
Irish Settler
Jack Daniels Terrier
German Police Man
Borderline Collie
Chevy King Charles
Government Pinscher